Bondage - How-to Guide
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Looking for more variety in your sex play? Bondage may be something new to consider. Bondage is the consensual tying, binding or restraining of a partner for mutual erotic pleasure. One partner generally takes the more dominant role, taking pleasure in seeing his/her partner tied up, while the other derives pleasure from being tied and fulfilling a submissive role. The use of ropes, bondage tape, self-adhesive bandages or other restraints are commonly used.
Before engaging in any type of bondage play, it’s important that both partners be clear on what they like, want, would be willing to try and what’s off limits. Communication and consensual play is essential. Exercise safety!
Before anyone is tied up, be sure to follow these safety tips:
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The rope must be loose enough that it can accommodate two fingers between the rope and your partner’s skin. Restraining does not mean must cutting off circulation. If the rope is wet and both partners are sweating, it should be even looser.
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If any part of the body is turning white or blue, remove restraints immediately – the restraints are too tight and circulation is being cut off
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A restrained partner should report any feelings of numbness or pins and needles – this is a danger sign and means restraints must come off
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Never tie restraints in any way that restricts breathing
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A tied-up partner should never be left alone
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Keep strong safety scissors nearby in the event that someone must be released quickly
A good starting point in bondage is restraints. Silk scarves, specialty ropes and sex tape or restraint kits can all be used as restraints. Beginning playful bondage might include tying the submissive’s hands together behind or in front of the body enabling them to have control over their legs and feet. Start slowly. If you feel inexperienced or self-conscious, first try tying your partner’s hands behind their back — they won’t be able to see what you’re doing and going slower can increase the pleasure and excitement.
You can also tie the sub’s arms to their body with a sex tape again allowing them to maintain control of their lower body parts. This is very simple bondage that involves restraining the sub’s hands.
More advanced bondage involves binding the sub to an object, such as a doorframe or piece of furniture, such as a bed or chair. This can be done via soft ropes, tethers, sex tape or restraint kits. It’s common to bind your partner’s hands to your headboard and feet to the footboard of your bed and then engage in sex play. Men can be bound to a chair and then mounted from above. Doorframe restraints enable you to slip the wrist restraints over the door, so when the door is closed the sub is bound to it.
The ideal restraints for bondage are thick cotton or silk rope, as neither slides or moves around much once tied into knots. This type of rope is usually expensive, so beginners may want to start with solid braided nylon rope in 7/16″ or 3/8″ in diameter purchased at a hardware store. Unlike other types of rope, the knots will be easy to untie even after they get pulled around.
Unlike other types of toys, rope has multiple uses. It can be used to make handcuffs and can also serve as a flogger, strap-on harness or belt, not to mention the many ways it can be used for restraining someone.
Once you’ve chosen your method of restraint, you can try sex in restraints; spanking, tickling with a feather or covering your lover in edible paints to be licked off. Blindfolding your partner creates suspense in terms of what you’re going to do next and can be very erotic.
Another potential part of bondage is flogging – the act of hitting a person during BDSM play, typically S&M play, with a hitting tool, such as whip, flogger, crop, etc. as opposed to a part of the body (spanking). The shorter the flogging toy, the more control you will have over the strike and the easier it will be for beginners. The best target zones for flogging are muscular or fatty areas away from joints, organs, bones that are close to the surface, major arteries and veins, all of which can cause health problems if damaged.
The most common flogging technique is making a figure 8 using wrist movement; the forearm rotates and the upper arm does not move. One figure 8 results in 2 strikes over a fluid motion. Floggers can create a variety of different markings because there is a very diverse range of available movement. With enough practice the flogger can land so that all tails come together to strike a specific area or flail out over a larger strike area.
Bondage items can be purchased in kit forms. One of our best selling bondage products is the Sex and Mischief Collection Sweet Punishment Kit, which includes a pair of furry cuffs, a flat “XOXO” paddle and one red blindfold mask. Another best seller of ours is the Under the Bed Restraint System, which can turn any bed into a place of binding pleasure.
Why are people attracted to bondage? There’s no one answer to why people practice, and enjoy, sexual bondage and S&M. Orgasm and pain inspire similar sensations: rising pulse, hyperventilation, and muscular tension. Spanking, in particular, may render sexually stimulating warmth. The base of the bottom is the oft-hit "sweet spot," where nerve endings meet genitalia.
